True Theory #2 Light 'em up
For those of you who believe in the good hearted nature of Santa Clause, and wish to continue to do so, please stop reading IMMEDIATELY!!!...... Now I'm sure most everyone knows the story of old St. Nicholas. A man, born in the 3rd Century, who decided to follow the words of Jesus and sell all of his possessions, give his inheritance away and serve the needy. Most would agree he was a man pure of heart and loved by all... WRONG!
A very well kept secret of the Catholic Church actually reveals that St. Nicholas was actually a cousin of the Pope during the time, St. Sylvester I. Not a big deal right? WRONG AGAIN! St. Nicholas' parents died while he was just a young boy. All of their possessions were sold to pay all debts, leaving poor St. Nicholas with absolutely nothing. Because no family members wanted to care for him, he was given to a local orphanage. This was just the beginning of what would become two VERY big problems... Being an orphan lead to a life filled with petty crimes. Being a part of a powerful family, with a name to protect, meant crimes went unp
unished for Nicholas.
So as you can imagine, St. Nicholas' crimes became more and more severe as he got older. He became well known in his small Turkish town for his habits of alcohol binges and theft. (His crimes were most recognized by his forced entries through household chimneys. It became a very common practice for thieves in the following years.) As the story goes, St. Nicholas started a yearly routine in which he would go through town and steal from every single house during the week leading up to the new year. But one citizen had finally had enough.
Thomas Edison is widely known as the man who "created the light bulb" but the credit actually goes to a man in St. Nicholas' own town named Arzu Hazan. Hazan had been trying for years to find an effective way to keep out the fat, drunken, roof hopping man that we all call Santa Clause. So in the year 363 A.D. Hazan successfully made over 300 light bulbs and placed them all around his home. He notified the authorities of his plans to catch this thief and they all agreed that the smug, greedy old rat had finally reached the end of the line. According to reports, on the night of December 24th, a whale of a man wearing nothing but "white undergarments and a stupid red hat" entered the property of Arzu Hazan. Hazan switched on the blazing set of lights as authorities jumped on St. Nicolas and wrestled a large velvet sack around him to carry him off. (It is easy to see where we got a lot of ideas about Santa Clause from this incident) As townspeople came out to see what was going on, word started to spread about what happened. Everybody was so happy about the news that they insisted Mr. Hazan keep his lights on all night in celebration of a tyrant brought to justice.
St. Nicholas was hung the next day on December 25th. And though he was dead, the celebration lived on and became a very popular, seasonal tradition. Throughout the years, the church had done there best to cover up this story and save face... But every dirty little secret has to be uncovered sometime :)
Note: This information is based entirely on PROVEN information from the best selling books "Old Saint Knickerless" and "Santa Flaws" by world renown author Skyler C. James.
For those of you who believe in the good hearted nature of Santa Clause, and wish to continue to do so, please stop reading IMMEDIATELY!!!...... Now I'm sure most everyone knows the story of old St. Nicholas. A man, born in the 3rd Century, who decided to follow the words of Jesus and sell all of his possessions, give his inheritance away and serve the needy. Most would agree he was a man pure of heart and loved by all... WRONG!
A very well kept secret of the Catholic Church actually reveals that St. Nicholas was actually a cousin of the Pope during the time, St. Sylvester I. Not a big deal right? WRONG AGAIN! St. Nicholas' parents died while he was just a young boy. All of their possessions were sold to pay all debts, leaving poor St. Nicholas with absolutely nothing. Because no family members wanted to care for him, he was given to a local orphanage. This was just the beginning of what would become two VERY big problems... Being an orphan lead to a life filled with petty crimes. Being a part of a powerful family, with a name to protect, meant crimes went unp
unished for Nicholas.So as you can imagine, St. Nicholas' crimes became more and more severe as he got older. He became well known in his small Turkish town for his habits of alcohol binges and theft. (His crimes were most recognized by his forced entries through household chimneys. It became a very common practice for thieves in the following years.) As the story goes, St. Nicholas started a yearly routine in which he would go through town and steal from every single house during the week leading up to the new year. But one citizen had finally had enough.
Thomas Edison is widely known as the man who "created the light bulb" but the credit actually goes to a man in St. Nicholas' own town named Arzu Hazan. Hazan had been trying for years to find an effective way to keep out the fat, drunken, roof hopping man that we all call Santa Clause. So in the year 363 A.D. Hazan successfully made over 300 light bulbs and placed them all around his home. He notified the authorities of his plans to catch this thief and they all agreed that the smug, greedy old rat had finally reached the end of the line. According to reports, on the night of December 24th, a whale of a man wearing nothing but "white undergarments and a stupid red hat" entered the property of Arzu Hazan. Hazan switched on the blazing set of lights as authorities jumped on St. Nicolas and wrestled a large velvet sack around him to carry him off. (It is easy to see where we got a lot of ideas about Santa Clause from this incident) As townspeople came out to see what was going on, word started to spread about what happened. Everybody was so happy about the news that they insisted Mr. Hazan keep his lights on all night in celebration of a tyrant brought to justice.
St. Nicholas was hung the next day on December 25th. And though he was dead, the celebration lived on and became a very popular, seasonal tradition. Throughout the years, the church had done there best to cover up this story and save face... But every dirty little secret has to be uncovered sometime :)
Conclusion
And as you can guess, the rest is history. Though the meaning of it all was lost, the celebration never ceased. It is the number one thought in every persons head during the Christmas season. LIGHTS. It is seen as a form of comradery and contest in most neighborhoods, towns and cities. A sign of power, awesomeness, and a great way to flaunt your money! The one thing that makes Christmas truly great! So with all these cold hard facts, I think it is safe to say that Christmas is most certainly about who has the most kick ass lights!Note: This information is based entirely on PROVEN information from the best selling books "Old Saint Knickerless" and "Santa Flaws" by world renown author Skyler C. James.
Too bad you can't make money writing this stuff.
ReplyDeleteYes very talented
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