True Theory #4 A Christmas Poem

True Theory #4 A Christmas Poem

'Twas the night before Christmas, and through my small house

Not a creature was stirring, except maybe a mouse;

The walls of our single wide laid boring and bare,

But I knew in my heart, Mr. Clause would be there;

My parents were passed out all drunk in there beds,

I'm sure visions of Budweiser danced in their heads;

I laid there and dreamed, in my old bronco cap,

That maybe, just this year, Santa'd bring some GOOD crap;

When out in the trailer park there arose such a clatter,

Even the cops came to see what was the matter;

From my own window I saw sirens flash,

looks like they busted the neighbors Christmas Eve Bash;

I could see breasts in the new fallen snow,

It gave quite excitement to objects below :)

When what to my curios eyes should appear,

But a bunch of drunk rednecks and four kegs of beer;

Then it was apparent, so dull yet so quick,

Christmas was exciting, like mud on a stick;

Every year drunker and drunker the came,

Never bored with the re-runs of Super Bowl games;

"Poor us a drink! Girl you know how to fix 'em,

Go Doncos Go! Romo now blitz 'em!"

It's down to the thirty, should we kick a field goal?

And just like the first time, "Yay WE won the Bowl!"

As fast as can be, their mugs raise up high,

They dance and they cheer as they scream at the sky;

My spirits were probably as worn as a shoe,

But it's ok, Santa will bring ME something new!

I knew he was real, Mom said there was proof,

There's now way that Santa was only a spoof.

Even when kids at school teased around,

and said "Santa don't come ta yer part o' town"

I'd prove them wrong, I'd have me a look,

maybe snap a picture, for my photo book;

And all of those kids who said i was "whack"

would be so amazed and take it all back;

I heard someone fall as they were yelling out "Merry..."

I heard "Are you ok?!" and "Your truck's lookin' cherry!"

Was that Santa who'd fallen out in the snow?

Who's Chevy truck was in the driveway below?

I poked out my head, to just get a peek,

A man all in red, and CHEW IN HIS TEETH;

Had a familiar face and a round little belly,

He went straight to the kitchen, made some toast with some jelly;

Ate the cookies I left, grabbed more from the shelf,

Devoured every last one like a Keebler elf;

An accidental noise and a turn of his head,

I found my self screaming "Hey Uncle Ted!"

"Those were for Santa! You ruined my work!

You ate all my cookies you big stupid jerk!"

He said "Son I think its about time that you knows,

Santa exists like a dry river flows."

My hopes were diminished, they'd been hit by a missile,

And all that I got was this dumb little whistle;

Ted jumped in his Chevy, and peeled out of sight,

"Don't tell yer sister! Have a hell of a night!"



Conclusion
"Christmas is ALL ABOUT Disappointment"