True Theory #1: C.H.R.I.S.T.M.A.S.

The True Meaning of Christmas

The "meaning" of Christmas is one of the most debated subjects amongst citizens of the world and has been a theme in Christmas related activities since the birth of Christmas. It is highly controversial and I'm here to set the record straight, provide YOU with all the facts and let you decide from there. It is not my intent to offend or hurt anyone. My findings will consist of hard, true facts that I've found from my own valuable sources... Well mostly true... Alright not that true.... Not true AT ALL actually, now that I think about it. Enjoy :)

True Theory #1: C.H.R.I.S.T.M.A.S.

My first theory should naturally start at the heart of Christmas. Where it all began... Missouri. Yes that's what I said. After Jesus' resurrection, he headed out west to find America (It is a very little known fact that he actually reached America before Christopher Columbus) Jesus knew that it was important for EVERY person to hear the good word before he returned to heaven. So he Forest Gumped it, all the way out to what is now present day Missouri. Upon arrival, Jesus set up his very own tree farm where he sold to the locals and told them all about himself... He was a very charming salesman and everyone loved his trees. Unfortunately many of these Native Americans did not believe the things that Jesus was telling them. They were Native American Athiests, or "Funny looking, dark skinned, feather hatted, non-believers" for short. Jesus didn't mind that they didn't believe, but he needed a way to always remind them of himself. They did not want to celebrate what Jesus had done for them so Jesus decided he would trick them into doing it. He knew that the funny looking, dark skinned, feather hatted non-believers loved to get together and tell tales and sing, so on Jesus' next birthday he had them all come over to his place where they danced, ate and sang all night long. They had so much fun that they made an annual event of it and to this day, whether they like it or not, everyone on earth celebrates the birth of our lord and savior, Jesus Christ.

It wouldn't be until 1806 that Joseph Smith told his followers this story and gave the holiday an official name... Christmas. And contrary to popular belief, it actually isn't a word stemming from anything, but an abbreviation which stands for

• C hrist
  
• H ad
  
• R ealized
  
• I n
  
• S elling
  
• T rees,
  
• M ost
  
• A thiests
  
• S ing

And that is the real story of Christmas. Christ had done it. Not only was he the coolest Tree Salesman in the world, but he had also managed to ensure that his birthday party would be the largest party every year, for the rest of time :)

Conclusion

I think we can all look at this story and really understand the true meaning of Christmas... Its all about tricking people into getting what you want on December 25th. Thank you

Sources: The Book of Mormon
www.imadethisallup.com
"I Know You Are Laughing" by Skyler C. James